Sweet Catastrophe

Mondays suck. So let’s end it with happy things worth drooling over!

It’s a new week, and thus, a new list of weekly sale items on Buy.com.

And this week they’re featuring one of my favorite material possessions! My Logitech MX Revolution Cordless Laser Mouse. I still drool over this thing a little when I think about it! This baby is the most customizable mouse I’ve ever seen. Every single button on it is even customizable on a program by program basis. There are buttons I have set to do one thing in a browser, and something completely different when I have iTunes open. I love it! I think, though, that my absolute favorite aspect is that not only is it rechargeable and comes with a nifty charging cradle, but it alerts you when the battery starts getting low! That was always my biggest pet peeve with other cordless mice, they’d just die at random.

It’s up for $59.99 with free shipping. And honestly guys, I’ve seen this mouse out in stores, and Ryan even ordered one elsewhere, these things go for 100 bucks everywhere else. Buy.com is the only place I’ve ever seen it this low in price. Even back when I bought mine.

They’ve got a really gorgeous digital picture frame up right now as well. We just got one for Mom for her Birthday, but I really wish I had seen one like this! I’m seriously considering getting it for one of my grandmothers though. I really haven’t seen any as aesthetically pleasing as this one, especially not one with 2GB of internal memory ready to go.

So that’s what I’m loving from the deals this week. If you have any use for a cordless mouse, you should really check out the MX Revolution. It’s certainly worth the price. My love for it is probably incredibly unhealthy, but I don’t mind ;)

As a cashier, I do more than what’s expected of me down in Lumber. Much more. I help them with any and all of their cleaning that I can (I’m limited to an area where I can see my register easily), I stay after we close to help them, I load things for customers (of course I have my limits, but still, I’m not calling them for every little thing), I even flat stack lumber for them every night. Basically, anything I can do to help out, I do. Most cashiers won’t even spot them on forklift.

There are always lots of jokes about it mixed in with some flattery, so I get a kick out of it. The guys all even jokingly (sort of) requested that I be moved to Lumber in one of their recent meetings.

So I’m not sure why I was surprised when Thursday night Danny (manager) asked if I’d be willing to train on the forklift and get my license so I could help out even more. If he brings it up again, I’m going to insist that he makes sure my yearly raise is fitting for all the extra I do for them.

I’m a little intimidated by the power equipment, but I know they can’t be that hard. It’d be added job security too, and if not, there are tons of warehouses and distribution centers here in Valdosta where I’d have a leg up already being trained on forklift to move around industrial supplies and stuff. And I’m pretty positive I’d be the only cashier there who could drive a forklift, so that’s a fun thought to me *shrug* I’m probably going to have to get breast implants to maintain any femininity in that store….lol

Met with the lawyer yesterday morning and well, I don’t even feel like I’m back at square one, I feel like I’ve regressed beyond that….maybe square negative 2.

Basically, unless something is seriously wrong with me, I’m probably still looking at $1500. And now less because 1/3 will go to the lawyer, but without him, I don’t even have a chance of getting my knee taken care of without insurance. As is, there’s only a chance that we can set up an appointment and MRI on a lien and just have it paid after the settlement.

It’s like hey, exactly what you were scared of happening, did! Hooray for the predictable.

I hate it. I sort of understand why these things end up being based pretty much on injuries alone, but I mean really? Of no fault of my own, and directly the fault of someone else, I’ve spent all this time either relying on others for a way to get around or driving a car that makes me cringe at least once every time I get in it. I’ve missed more than a handful of events that I wouldn’t have normally thought twice about going to because I have no reliable way out of town. I’ve wanted to visit Kristi, but can’t because I can’t trust that car. I’ve only been able to talk myself into going to Douglas because I know if I break down I’m just close enough that someone can come get me. Hell, I have to talk myself into going anywhere that isn’t necessary because I hate being in that car….

I’m honestly just so frustrated.

It’s been over a week now and of course I’m still dealing with losing Willow. There was a great deal of acceptance pretty quickly considering the gut feelings I had when I took her in, but it looks like the remainder of the journey to a new normalcy is going to take a while.

I, daily, find myself in situations where I expect to see her or think I hear her and shake my head in disbelief. I’m not so sure if it’s disbelief that she’s gone or disbelief in myself for expecting her to be here.

I’ve realized, too, that losing a pet as an adult is much different than losing one as a child. As an adult their little lives literally depend on you. You provide them with everything. They’re 100% your responsibility. As a kid when you leave you don’t wonder who will take care of your pet, you know your parents have it covered, as an adult, it’s up to you to make sure there’s someone to fill in for you.

And if you find yourself in the unfortunate position that I did, it’s also up to you whether they live or die. Deep down I know I made the right choice, but on the surface I still have a touch of guilt to deal with and I know it’s based on that decision. I’m sure that’s pretty typical though. How could you possibly avoid guilt altogether not knowing what tomorrow could bring? A miracle recovery? A brilliant theory from your vet? I just keep reminding myself there’s a reason I have ‘Fate’ tattooed on my foot.

It’s pretty easy to discern the pet owners from the non when people react. The non pet owners seem to all know someone who has kittens I might want. I guess they see a pet as a material possession you can replace, but it’s not like that, when you lose a piece of your heart, you can’t just grab another piece from a pile and glue it on.

I hate the phrase of a pet being like your child because I’m a very logical creature and though I very much value a pet’s life, I could never truly compare it to a human life, but it’s the closest you’ll get to a good simile. And of course with Willow it was a step above normal pets. For the whole 5 years I had her with me I was either fighting for her or against her in some way. I rescued her from an angry redneck and the hurricane that was blowing in. I confronted my landlord and paid more than others to be able to keep her with me. I spent a night in the emergency room when she accidentally clawed me in the eye. And, most recently, I changed my whole life around to take care of her diabetic needs. I made my schedule revolve around what needed to be done for her and we bonded more for it.

Others are quick to point out that I still have Smokey but it’s not at all the same. Yes, I love Smokey, but none of us own Smokey. He’s very much an independent cat who comes around for some tlc and nourishment filler when he hasn’t killed his fill of random wildlife lately.

I tried reminding myself of the small up-sides, like all the responsibility that’s been shed, and how my allergies will be less aggravated all the time now, but of course they do little to console.

On another note, I got my invoice yesterday from the vet and he’s much more wonderful than I thought. I looked it over and he didn’t charge me for the majority of the tests he talked to me about doing and though she was there for a week, he only charged for two nights. On top of that, he gave me a 40% discount off what I actually was charged for, so I only owe $327. I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised, he never charged for any of the tests and extra bloodwork he did while she was there for diabetic stuff all day.

Not much else to say; I just needed to get some of these thoughts out of my head so I can move past them, ya know?

So William went to the beach last Friday and spent the whole day there when the weather was not beach-appropriate. The trip itself was an asshole thing to do (long story, just trust me) so when he woke up sick on Saturday, we all told him it was Karma.

Now Katie and I are also sick. Ugh! Neither of us have it as bad as he does/did, but I’ve got it bad enough that I knew I couldn’t work today. For once I hated to call out because I was already wide awake and I love my 10-5 shifts. And I had lunch plans today.

I haven’t previously followed any leads for insurance so I’m still strictly out-of-pocket so I can’t really go get any antibiotics, but I’m making do with otc stuff and it’s helping.

I guess it gives me an excuse to lie around all day and read. I’m seriously getting my money’s worth out of this Kindle.

I’ve been putting off actually getting in touch with a lawyer, but I’m proud to say today I finally made the call. He called back when I was on the road to Douglas so I’ll call tomorrow morning to make an official appointment, but we talked for a moment and he’s got an Orthopedic doctor he wants to send me to for my knee and he sounds like he may be able to do some good, hopefully as quickly as he was able to work things out for some friends of mine.

Either way, I’m just happy to have finally put myself on the track to finality with this whole car mess. The past month of waiting has been my fault, I was really hesitant about calling a lawyer, knowing this is my last shot is sort of scary, but the previous 5 months weren’t on me…ya know?

It’s amazing how good a few hours in the dirt with babies can be for your heart. I got dinner time, play time, and bath time tonight. I adore being Aunt Dade (We haven’t found the J yet, haha) I get to be fun and have secret food fights while Mommy sits in the other room talking about diet pill reviews for this summer and doctor visits. Of course, I also have to clean up those secret food fights before Mommy sees it, but it’s worth all the giggles!

Just watching their little imaginations is made of awesome! It’s especially adorable to watch them when they actually play together. Jesalyn ‘cooks’ in the dirt and Joshua picks out pretty leaves to put in her pots and pans. Sweetness.

Of course it always has to end but I guess since they just saw me last weekend they think I’ll be back really soon (they might be right, addictive little buggers) so instead of flipping out like we thought they would, I just got tons of hugs and waves and ‘bye bye’ and ‘be careful’ and ‘come back soon’….Nana Pam (my mom) was playing dirty and trying to get me back to town sooner! lol It probably worked ;)

Ryan’s sister Vanessa is engaged! Happy for her, but the bigger news is where she plans to get married. They’ve set the date for next September (I think that was it) in Italy…. So you’d assume they have some tie to Italy, right? Maybe something to do with his family, their past together, anything? Nope. Or maybe this is just a rich family on one side or the other and they can afford it all? Again, nope.

Yes, Vanessa can afford the wedding she wants– she works at a casino and makes great money, but neither his or her family can really all afford to travel to Italy for a wedding. Especially immediate family since they’ll be involved in the wedding plans and will need to be there for a significant amount of time. Plane tickets, hotels, food, travel, not to mention the amount of time everyone would be losing at work with or without vacation pay, and then when you’re traveling outside of the country there are extras you have to add into travel expenses like passports, calling cards, electrical outlet adapters, and you’d certainly want to check out travel insurance online for such a big adventure, ya know?

No one understands her thinking on this. There’s just virtually an unlimited number of places more accessible to everyone that would make for an absolutely beautiful wedding and they could honeymoon in Italy.

And bless his heart, Ryan keeps coming up with possible ways he could get the money and make it happen, but the bottom line is that he’s working on paying student loans right now, how can you really justify spending so much money on his sister’s whim? How can she ask this of people when she knows they can’t afford it??

We’ve actually known about this for a little while and I still just can’t wrap my mind around it…

…you won’t convince me otherwise! It’s been an up and down week so I’m looking into a little retail therapy in the form of sale items on Buy.com.

Right now I’m actually drooling over this Dell Laptop. I think a laptop will be my next big purchase, but I’m in no rush for that. Just probably sometime within the next year or so. And I seriously have a thing for red electronics and appliances.

This one’s got 320GB of space so I could keep a significant amount of media with me on-the-go, a dvd-rw and a webcam. And it’s purdy. ;)

And there’s actually an item up right now that I seriously recommend for anyone! It’s an mp3 speaker. It’s a simple little one that zips up and keeps moisture out. I have two– one in the kitchen for when I’m cleaning and doing dishes and I use one in the shower every now and then to dance around in the shower…yeah I really do that :-P They’ve actually got theirs for cheaper than I got mine and I bought mine on a final clearance markdown!

Actually, I could probably use a musical shower about now.

Over the weekend Dr. Delaney got everything stable, all her numbers were normal, everything was where it should be, but she still wasn’t doing well at all.

I went and sat with her for a little bit and then held her while he let her go.

I truly think it was for the best. He felt like there was cancer somewhere or something worse causing it all, and I feel like he was right. I knew in my heart when I dropped her off last week that it was really bad and I’m just glad whatever it was was relatively quick. She wasn’t sick for very long.

So rest in peace my baby girl, Willow.