Sweet Catastrophe

I think I’m experiencing my quarter-life crisis at the moment. I find myself questioning everything– mainly school and my job, and I just don’t know what I’m doing or what I want to be doing. I know something has to change, but I have no clue what, so I’m just looking at options all over the place, trying to find something that speaks to me, something that feels right. I’ve started looking into online degree programs to see if that’s a route I might like to take. Of course there’s a lot of them to weed through and you really have to dig to find the ones that are genuinely worth it.

I was recently pointed toward Western Governor’s University (WGU) which is a non-profit online university– this means tuition is low, and is a sure sign that it’s about the education and not about getting your money. So far I’m thinking it’s a perfect example of what I’m looking for.

WGU was founded by the governors of 19 U.S. States who sought to make an education available that was cost effective, easily accessible, and competency-based– meaning you’re earning a degree based on skills, knowledge and experience, not how much time you spent sitting in a classroom. This also means you can potentially finish a degree more quickly because you can take assessments as soon as you’re ready– similar to CLEP which is taking a test to earn credit for a course when you already know the material. And WGU is nationally, regionally, and NCATE accredited– the only exclusively online university that can make that claim.

Tuition is a flat rate per 6-month term, at rates easily comparable to the school I’m already attending, and much lower than most. And WGU is approved by the U.S. Department of Education to offer federal financial aid– which means Pell Grants, loans scholarships are available.

WGU believes in fitting an education into your life, not the other way around, so not only do you have the flexibility any online course would offer, but WGU 6-month terms can be started any month you choose.

I’m seriously looking at their College of Information Technology, but again, I’ve got to figure out what it is I, realistically, want to do….

That’s a thought.

Where’s the line? When do you stop living for what you want and just live for what you have? Does everyone struggle to find that line?

Sometimes it’s the easiest thing in the world to just be now. Other times it’s as if by asking me to stop worrying about tomorrow, you’ve asked me to cut off a limb and figure out how to live without it. A little extreme? Maybe.

Sometimes my mind is a heavy wilderness.

We have to stop sleeping with the television on. This morning I had nightmares about Dora the Explorer trying to kill me with some kind of bee poison.

And I’ve been doing that a lot lately with whatever happens to be on the tv when I hit that phase in my sleep. Scooby Doo needs to remain un-scary in my life, please & thank you.

Does the television invade your dreams?

FYI– the following recount may bring about some unwanted images in your mind. Safe for work, just not safe for your own mental health.

So today I decided to clean up the empty room. Jeremy had to leave so quickly that I told him it was fine to leave the things he wanted to toss and I’d take care of them, so I went through to throw things out, sweep, and get started on the walls with a Magic Eraser. I figured I’d just open the windows to air out the room and let a little natural light in when I saw a jump drive sitting on one of the window sills. Now, it’s clear that this particular window hasn’t been opened in a very long time, and the last three roommates have had furniture in front of it because there’s no screen behind it so you can’t leave that one open anyway– point is, there’s really no telling whose jump drive this was.

I should’ve known better than to click on anything when I saw that they were all video files. I really should’ve, but I didn’t. Of course the first one I click on just goes straight into it and wow….we’ll just say the ‘actress’ clearly hasn’t checked out any strivectin reviews ’cause holy flab and stretch-marks Batman, I did NOT want to see that.

I’m wishing like hell that brain bleach was real. Do not want. *shudder*

I haven’t had a headboard for quite some time, but I recently stumbled across a design that really appealed to me, and now I kind of have to have it. If you think about it, I’m sure you could guess what that might be– storage bed =)

Currently I’m eying this Manhattan 6-Drawer King Size Platform Storage Bed and Storage Headboard. The image isn’t very detailed, but the drawers run on either side with a 20″ depth with finger pulls on the bottom edge of the drawers to eliminate the need for knobs that I’d inevitably stub my toes on! The shelves on the headboard are 11″ deep– I’d just have to keep Ryan from even beginning a habit of leaving drinks there or we’d end up with soaked heads!

I think I want to replace my desk first, though. I just bought something on sale when I moved out on my own and while it’s held up great, I hate the thing. It’s wobbly and nothing but particle board and metal rods.

I want this Corner Work Station! I love corner units, but so many of them have shelving up top and only open room for a single monitor– I need an open area to fit both monitors. And I love that this one has a little mobile CPU stand. My case has fans on the top and both sides so I can’t shove it on a shelf and I really hate to just have it sitting on the floor. I’m gonna keep looking around to see if I can find it in a darker wood, though.

Got some semi-happy family news today! My brother and sister-in-law are having a baby!! In Oklahoma… =(

I haven’t talked to my mom yet, but I know she’s probably more upset than she is happy. When James moved to Oklahoma Mom made him swear to her that it would only be two years for school. Now he’s married and has a house there. Her biggest point when they argue is not being close to her grandchild. Could a mesothelioma lawyer handle a family court case? ‘Cause at this point I wouldn’t put it past my mother to take some sort of drastic legal action to get them closer to Georgia! I’m not even kidding.

Me: Is Momma upset? lol
James: Big time! Here’s your chance to take off to Louisiana while she’s pissed off at me.

I give it a week before she tells me it’s time for me to have a baby.

I’m happy for them, but I can’t say I’m not a little upset, too. I love Jesalyn and Joshua more than anything and hate that I won’t really have the opportunity to bond with my new niece or nephew the same way.

I’m crossing my fingers and toes and hoping that I got cleaned up quickly enough today because I actually had a customer essentially bleed all over me. It wasn’t anything too serious, she just unknowingly pulled open an old wound on her hand, but it was all over the stuff I was ringing up and I didn’t notice until I saw it on her white credit card. To my credit, I totally kept my cool and got her cleaned up and bandaged and got everything on the register cleaned up before I ran to the bathroom and totally freaked out a little. How could I not? *shivers*

Will just laughed at me and went on a spiel about how old people are always bleeding– and really they are! They have such thin skin! I’m not looking forward to that! Would something like the best hgh releasers help me avoid that when I get older? Seriously, when I get older I’m going to carry alcohol wipes and bandaids around with me.

Let’s play catch-up here– a few weeks ago I was told on the 8th and the 9th I was scheduled as loader. Okay. Don’t want to be loader, but fine, I’ll suck it up for two days. I’m not one to complain (actually, I am, but I mean in an official capacity) so I shrug it off.

Nevermind the fact that in all the time I’ve been there, aside from the guys, a cashier has never been scheduled in advance to be a loader– we may get asked to pitch in every now and then, but never has one of us just been thrown in that position.

Anyway, so skip to last Tuesday when I’m in the middle of fulfilling these duties, I’m told I’m being moved out of my department. What a can of worms that opened. That’s all settled now, though, thankfully.

And on to today– as I’m on my way to clock in I spot the code 50 board (code 50 is loader) and see whose name? If you guessed me, you’d be very correct. I got scheduled as loader today and tomorrow again, only this time she didn’t even bother to tell me.

Let’s just completely ignore the fact that I’ve been sick all weekend and had contemplated staying home today to continue resting to make sure I get completely well instead of just prolonging the sickness. Ignore that, instead of resting, I ended up at work, not at all dressed for the job I ended up doing and had soaking wet feet all night, pushing carts in 30 degree weather. Forget that none of that had to be a problem if I’d known in advance what I was meant to be doing today.

Instead, let’s focus on the fact that I haven’t been asked about any of this. Now, I have no trouble with authority. If my boss/supervisor/whatever tells me to do something within the limits of my position, I’m all over it. But moving me to a different position is akin to moving a salesman to a different department. It just doesn’t happen that way. That involves a request on one end or the other. Same for working a different position altogether, even temporarily. At the very least, you’d approach someone and tell them you really need them to take this position and they’d have an opportunity to turn it down if they had a reason, ya know?

I mean truly, I don’t mind pushing carts. It’s tiring, but maybe the fastest way to burn fat at that job, but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by too many situations where I’m being expected to just do things without question, and without gratitude either. I’m honestly worried that I’m about to snap at the wrong person. I mean, why am I the only cashier who’s being made to do this? Why wasn’t it me one day and someone else the next?

I hate it, but I guess I just have to speak with Peggy again. I hate being made to feel like I’m just complaining about everything right now, but I also don’t feel right about just sitting back and letting this keep happening, ya know?

In an attempt to cut costs, we’re shutting off our cable. We’re both okay with that but would really like to get something that would enable us to stream Netflix to our television in the bedroom. The thing is, I’d really like something that can do that, and stream files from my computer. Xbox 360 has the capability, but I don’t want to go buy another 360 to put upstairs, or any other gaming system for that matter. I’ve looked through the suggestions Netflix offers, but I can’t seem to find anything that would let me know if any of those devices support this streaming feature (it works through using your Windows Media Player library). Anyone have any suggestions?

I’m not above spending a little money, especially if it ends up being a device I can use for more than just the streaming– like a blu-ray/dvd player or something like that.

If we can’t figure that out, you may find me holding rabbit ears and trying to route signals through Orange NJ dental implants to the television, kind of like Mom on Pete and Pete with her metal plate.

Alright, this is it. Kristi’s wedding is in less than 2 months. This is my public declaration that I’ll be exercising at least 3 times a week. Period. It’s time to take it down another notch on the sodas and junk food, and kick it up a notch on the physical activity.

So far I’ve found that making really small adjustments has worked for me. I just have to stay aware of what I’m doing and keep making adjustments and not giving up on it.

I’ll be deciding what I want to do with my hair soon– am I going shorter or planning an up-do? Maybe going a little red again? And jumping on some murad skin care or something to just make sure I look my absolute best when I meet everyone and stand next to Kristi on her special day =)