I’ve been feeling really disconnected lately. I’ve lost so many ties, and I really feel like I’m just floating along, all by myself. The only two people I feel any sort of connection with are Ryan and my Mom. With everyone else, even though it’s 100% me–my thoughts, my actions, no falsity, I don’t feel wholly there. I feel like an outsider no matter what. I feel like I need some new connections, or a way to strengthen some of the connections I have now, but I don’t really know how to do that. Hanging out at the bar isn’t my thing, I just don’t enjoy myself in those situations. Hanging out at someone’s place is more my style, but everyone runs with a crowd already and it always moves quickly from a select few to a large group.
I guess really, I’m back where I was in high school. I’ve hit that awkward place everyone hits right after college, just a little early. I’m in that inbetween spot, the college life doesn’t quite fit right, but neither does the post-graduate adult life. Just like I felt in high school, I already know what I want, I know what will make me happy, I’m just not yet at the point where I can attain it. Until then, I don’t exactly know what else to do besides keep floating, unsatisfied.
Recent Comments