[Read: For friends of mine who might read into this and think I’m having problems, worry not. This entry has nothing to do with my current situation; it’s simply something that came across my mind.]
How can people be chronic cheaters? Obviously I’m talking relationships here. I just don’t really understand how someone can justify it.
Now, I can understand the one-time mistake. I can even understand the situational cheater (someone stuck in a relationship they don’t want to be in, finding someone new and not knowing how to handle it all). I don’t condone either, but I can understand the mental process.
What I don’t understand is the person in a serious relationship who consistently has one night stands and such with random people. I just can’t wrap my head around how someone can actually care about someone, and do something so hurtful to them repeatedly–something they know will eventually lead to the end of their relationship.
I’ll admit to being in that situation. I had a boyfriend who changed schools and didn’t have his license. He talked about setting up camping gear at my house just so he’d be able to spend time with me. (This was a big joke with us because my dad disliked him so much) After that last conversation, I didn’t hear from him for a week and then when I did, he was telling me all about the girls he’d been flirting with. WTF? I guess we’ll just call that the messiest relationship I ever had. He was an achilles heel. He was one of those that just wouldn’t go away.
Anyway, I’d like to know how these people function later in life. I don’t understand how that works–how you cheat consistently through your college years or after, and then one day end up married? Can you even have a happy, healthy marriage after being a cheater so long? How does that work? Is it just something that randomly changes in you? I dunno man…
I currently know this person, we’ll call her Jane. She has a fiance, ‘Kevin’ in another town–we’ll say Smithville. She left one night, announcing her date and of course we questioned it. To which we got a spiel about how much she loves Kevin and he loves her and they’ll be married and she’ll be so happy but he’s in Smithville and she’s in college and she needs to have fun.
What?!
Can you imagine being married for ten years and then being told by your spouse, “Oh honey I used to cheat on you so much in college.” What would you do?!
I know this is all random, I just got to thinking about the college kids in this town and their ways and it just got me curious about how this works later in life…
January 24th, 2008 at 6:46 am
I would imagine that later in life it gets a lot lot lot messier.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Cheating NEVER works. NEVER.
But, then again, you also have to consider it form their point of view, it could be a pathological thing, if it is repetitive, like they need more intimate connections, so they are driven to seek out other relationships. Even so, it is a BAD THING to cheat on a lover.