I used to have a lot of problems with my dad. We were too much alike and he struggled to find the right parenting methods for me when he and Mom got divorced. (I chose to live with him–I knew my mom couldn’t really afford to take care of me) We’ve finally reached the point where we don’t argue every conversation. He doesn’t try to lay guilt trips on me for not calling, and I try to call more often. I’m glad we’ve gotten to that.
He called earlier today with a really weird request. He’s been dating a younger woman for quite some time now. He’s fully aware that a good chunk of their relationship hinges on the support he can offer her and he’s fine with that. As far as I’m concerned, as long as he doesn’t hold any delusional ideas about what they really have, then I can understand where he’s at. He’s getting the affection he needs, and he’s able to take care of someone–something I never really let him do. He’s filling two holes and well, he’s been pretty screwed over by women, my mother included, so I get it.
Anyway, though this situation has been pretty good for him, they split for a bit and she got into some stupid stuff and now he’s trying to help her again. My father called me today and asked if I’d be willing to drop his girlfriend off at a drug treatment facility. It’s actually a ’secret’ place here in town for battered women and their children, but it also serves as an addiction facility. Men aren’t generally allowed there, other than immediate family and only in certain circumstances, so he called me in case he wouldn’t be able to drop her off. I’m awaiting his call.
Really odd situation, but it says a lot to me that he would call me and not only entrust me with the details of this confidential situation, but ask me a favor. It’s a very adult moment to have your father ask such an important favor of you.
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